How he saved me from the “Baby Blues”…
The Baby Blues are real and don’t be ashamed
When my first little bundle of joy arrived, I was so excited to be a 1st time mom. My body was sore, my vajaj was swollen, and my butt was numb but hey such is life for bringing a person into this world. All was well in the hospital; my family and friends came to visit me and celebrate my new milestone of becoming a mother. But when I got home . . .
After the hospital
When we brought the little bugga home, after being in the hospital for 3 days (1 day of mostly labor because Rezon Jr. disrespected me by breaking my water and not descending so I had no contractions, which caused Pitocin aka THE DEVIL IN A NEEDLE to be injected and manufacture painful contractions that caused me to vomit repeatedly and get mad at every nurse and doctor who kept sticking their 2 fingers inside to check my cervix that was thin but I was only 2cm and then I got an epidural which helped me relax and take a nap because I was tapped out so eventually 19 hours later Rezon Jr. came into this world at 11:16…ok yea I was rambling because I had to catch you up to speed). In the hospital, I was living the life because my food was brought to me and I could eat as much as I wanted. People were checking on me to make sure that I was comfortable, and my baby nursed on demand so that we could spend our quality time together. Life was great!
The first day home, we brought the baby inside and sat him down then looked around. I felt sad and tired but it quickly left because, like clock work, my mother was at the door ready to help. Shortly after, a few more family members trickled in and began cleaning up, cooking food, and holding the baby so that I could get myself situated.
The first night alone
The first day home seemed cool because everyone was around and it was a smooth transition from what I was use to at the hospital, but the sun went down and everyone had to go home and tend to their own families. I remember Rezon Jr. was sleeping in his bassinet and I looked at him to make sure that he was ok but I felt sad.
I laid down in the bed to watch television and all of a sudden a wave of emotions overwhelmed me and my mind started to race and my heart was beating fast. I looked over at Rezon Jr. in the bassinet and saw him coughing (just 2 little baby coughs) in his sleep. Almost immediately I started to cry because a million thoughts ran through my head as I began to question my abilities and aptitude as a mom. Thoughts like “OMG what do I do?” “I hope he doesn’t stop breathing” “How am I suppose to keep him alive” “I’m not cut out for this” ” I can’t do this” “I’m so alone”.
Help is on the way
As I was crying and having these sad and anxious feelings about myself, I heard a voice ask if I was ok. That voice was my husband, who was in the shower, ok don’t laugh but I really felt so alone in that moment of panic and anxiety. He asked what I was feeling and I told him, then he said “Baby, you’ll be fine. You’re married to me, you’re not alone. Plus, we have plenty of family to help. It’s ok. It’s your first day.” OOOOOMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!! You have no idea how his words saved me from spiraling downward. If he hadn’t been so close (in proximity) I don’t know if I would have recovered so quickly. Rezon Sr. literally rescued me with those words; it was as if I felt like I was holding on to the side of a cliff and he just reached down to pull me up.
This experience made me think about other women who don’t have the same support or are more prone to depression than others, or whose babies weren’t conceived in the best of situations. Well, I am here to tell you that there is hope and there is help.
If you or someone you know is experiencing bouts of the “baby blues” or serious postpartum depression, feel free to reach out to us so that we can connect you with someone to talk to.
On the other hand, if you have overcome the “baby blues” and/or postpartum depression and would like to share your experience, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org