12 things that I learned from
Becoming: Part 3
Michelle Obama is a remarkable woman, wife, mother, and professional. After reading the book “Becoming”, I was super inspired to continue to be great because there are so many God-given connections waiting to be made for me to fulfill my purpose.
#7. ALL MOMS NEED HELP
I don’t know who started telling women that we are responsible to handle everything, but that is a bald-faced lie. Yes, I said it. Mothers have specific responsibilities and they aren’t all the same. Most of our imbalance comes from learning from previous generations. Michelle Obama really surprised me when I read that she had a nanny and a chef. Early in her marriage and mothering, she realized that she couldn’t properly manage every job task that fell on her. She knew that in order to be a present mom and wife that she needed someone to take care of the other “stuff”. Michelle Obama knew that she could perform at her peak level in her personal and professional life by having someone help her. Seems simple enough right?
Well, many of the women that I know are avid “over-doers”. They allow their ego, emotions, and pride to drive them to do it all. You know my saying “there is no reward for burnout”. I use to feel a rush when I called myself taking care of everything and everyone, but in reality, my ego was declining help and my family was suffering because of it. I was punishing myself by neglecting help and not prioritizing my self-care needs. I put myself in a lose-lose situation, and I had to learn from it. I hope that you learn the lesson sooner than I did.
#8. Treat people the way that you want to be treated
We all know the golden rule and how we should treat others, but unfortunately, we don’t. Michelle Obama is such a down to earth woman who really cares about people and their well-being. In the book, she spoke about how she honored and respected those who worked for her. She never exhibited pious behavior or attitudes that were unbecoming. She talked about how the servants at the White House would dress in formal wear but she allowed them to dress more casually unless there was a formal affair.
How awesome is Michelle Obama? She used her authority to allow others to be and feel more comfortable in her presence. She also mentioned how she and Queen Elizabeth shared a womanly moment by expressing their foot pain caused by walking in heels. Both of these women are icons, yet they didn’t use their authority or status to intimidate, control, or belittle others. They simply treated people how they want to be treated. Even though you and I are not as well-known as Michelle Obama (yet 🙂 we can use this same principle in our daily lives. Make someone’s day better by just treating them the way that you want to be treated.
#9. Learn to deal with the man that you married
Chile! I was cracking up when Michell Obama said that she was excited to go to marriage counseling because she wanted the counselor to tell Barack everything that he was doing wrong and to validate how she was feeling, but she didn’t get that confirmation at all. Michelle Obama had been battling with her frustration over going to work and raising kids while Barack was off handling political work. She was upset because he would miss dinners after she would modify the family’s schedule to allow the kids to stay up and see him or she would plan to have a romantic night but he would miss it. After counseling, she realized that she was depending on him to be happy.
How many of us can attest to that? I know that I can because I would get so flustered at my husband when he didn’t want to do certain things or go certain places with me or the family. Granted, I like to do a lot of stuff and my husband is definitely more of a laid-back recluse hahaha but I knew that when I married him. It’s amazing how you know something about your spouse and even love that “something” about them until it doesn’t benefit you. Like Michelle, I realized that I was depending on my husband to make me happy when in reality I needed to enjoy the moments regardless. I know who I married, and he goes to important events and planned family outings but I can’t spring stuff on him and expect him to be excited about it. Duh! It didn’t work 10 years ago and it won’t work now because I know who I married. So, I encourage you to find a happy medium that will satisfy your “happy” while balancing your marriage.
Ok so that’s all and I hope that you’re enjoying these lessons. Oh yeah and please get the book, if you haven’t already.
Have a blessed day,
Aquisha aka Mrs. Mommy
Don’t forget to like, share, comment, and subscribe!!!